Sunday, November 2, 2008

The happyness of pursuit

Disclaimer: this article is not to be generalized to every relationship. It is just what the author has mostly seen happening. Also it shouldn’t be related to the author herself.

Before I broach the subject of my article let me clarify this has nothing to do with the marvelous movie with the miss-spelt emotion. So all you Will Smith fans can take the back seats or consider this:
Almost all college puppy-love-stories can be described in 6 words in the respective sequence – pursue, impress, love, reality check, survive and part. Now there I am not entitled to a prejudice such as ‘a pessimistic heart-broken woman just used like a toilet paper by her boyfriend’ because I, being able to understand the happiness that lies in persuasion, am quite content with my love life, thank you. Honestly, if Jenny hadn’t died a tragic death in the famous Love Story she would’ve been waiting at a bus stop to be picked up by the now forgetful Oliver thinking, “Where have those days gone when he used to be standing here with a rose in his hand?” Well all you Jennys, those were the happy days of persuasion when you were a hard-to-get-love-of-some-guy’s-life. This makes me wonder what part of a relationship do guys long for and what makes women dance with joy? Men are happiest in pursuing the love of their life, while women love to be pursued by men; the Y in happyness stands for yearning for men while for women it is to be yearned for.
Pursue, chapter 1:
In all those situations where it’s the guy who makes the ‘first move’, he runs from pillar to post to sweep the lady off her feet. The guy would call up at odd hours or drop a sweet message in between classes only to imagine the lady blushing out of all the flatter. He would walk her home even if the sun hasn’t set or save her favorite seat for her by reaching the class way ahead of time, although he wouldn’t give a dime to attending classes otherwise. And all those nervous lies blurted out to impress her like, “I hate coffee” when you can’t do 30 minutes straight without a cup of espresso; all those records bought to make her realize that you share the same tastes in music even though you hate pop, yes, I know it sound just like out of some movie but its just your best friend’s story honestly, or maybe your own.
Impress, chapter 2:
After days, weeks or sometimes month’s exercise of buying a bouquet of blue carnations every morning and dropping them at her doorstep the boy finally wins the girl’s heart and the girl finally succumbs to the small warm feeling blossoming in her bosom after all those things you did to make her feel like the most special girl in this universe. She slips a ‘yes’ at that lavish pocket-burning proposal-dinner you take her to. She, oh terribly in love, then goes and tells her roommate about her new relationship status and you, oh so terribly in love, borrow your next week’s allowance from your roommate.
Love, chapter 3:
Now the girl has no second thoughts about what she has for you; she never questioned you feelings for her anyways. All those questions from friends, “are you serious about him?” get an affirmative answer with a huge smile (whatever that means). A lot of things are obvious now, you two would come to college together, would have lunch together, would go for movies together, would have coffee (No, she hates coffee remember?), would talk each other to sleep at night and do all of this again the next day. Eventually, breathe into each others’ lives. Friends are there only to hang out when your boyfriend has to attend some inevitable family function.
Reality Check, chapter 4:
Oh come on! It can’t go on like this. The girl still thinks herself to be a sleeping beauty waiting for her prince to come and give her a wake-up kiss. The girl still imagines a bed of roses marking her path to the classroom, of course arranged by her love. Snap back to reality, not only is there no bed of roses; the routine calls have reduced in frequency. Those occasional text messages spelling I Love You’s have become rare. Girl, we ain’t living on cloud number nine. We ain’t one Soul two Bodies. Let each body deserve a soul.
Survive, chapter 5:
Survive isn’t exactly what this chapter be named. Sacrifice is more appropriate. That is just what both of them claim to be doing. Sacrificing things to appease each other; what for? The girl starts listening to songs that go like I-thought-I-heard-you-call-my-name, I-was-always-there-for-you or why-did-I-lose-my-mind? The guy’s playlist is no better – I-don’t-love-the-way-you-love-me, how-beauty-can-be-deceiving or walking-with-a-broken-heart. Need I say more?
Part, chapter 6:
This should not happen at all. Anybody can initiate the closing ceremony; if the girl decides to tell the guy that “maybe you don’t love me anymore” or the guy tells her that “I have to move on in life, look for a meaning to it”. Whatever. Bye.
The sheer adventure of doing something, anything for that matter, to chase what you want gives guys some sort of pleasure that surpasses the pleasure derived after achieving the goal. On the other hand, there is nothing more pleasing to a girl than a guy (more are welcome) swimming against the tides of the world only to reach her. The rest is quite insignificant. The real happiness lies only in pursuit.
But this is not enough to sustain a relationship…did I just sound like a shrink? Whatever.


another brick in the wall said...

haha... trust me.. more the ppl.. more the complications.. more fucking chaos.. stay as you are.. be happy with yourself.. stop chasing things.. what has to follow will catch up with you eventually.. stop running after dreams.. they are not worth it.. nothing is.. finally life is just a fuckin meaningless, mindless joke, we never find time to laugh at :P

Jay El Bird said...

If you want to read about the guy swimming against water... read my new blog... Dont mean to advertise or anything.. Just that it can get more complicated...
You wrote till chapter 6th... I started from Chapter 10th... Starcrossed

Shivani said...

uhmm(inhale deeply, now exhale)...
u're telling me that the ride into the sunset of the prince and princess on a white stallion ends with the prince saying it's damned uncomfortable for two people to use a mode of transportation for one?!!?

u break my heart ;)

Divita said...

shivani, no ones stopping you from dreaming atleast! :P but that's hilarious!!!

WAR10CK said...


something ive witnessed in colg... most stories don reach the second chapter...

what is left of the guy is... wait.
when its the gal even she kinda... waits.... seen that too...

but you know, its better this way as your blog post suggests... the pursuit keeps em happy..
they are always engaged in this thing,waiting, and believing that someday its gonna be good...

its surely better this way than the ending you presented

Abhu said...

dude!! i SO completely agree with u! specially what u have written in chap 3 :P
and no... its not me whoz been at the receiving end... it was my roommate and i was the "friend" :P Its really stupid. and then i have frnds asking me "hey! why u still single" as if its a crime to be single.
nyways... nice read :)

Psycadellic Tuhin said...

Firstly, cheers for having brought out interestingly true revelations about college romance!.Nice post, but having said that, i beg to differ in one area, that being, the levels of consistency. Does it always turn out this way. Maybe, Maybe not. Cheers again.
Nice Post.

Divita said...

@WAR, abhu, P.T.

'course this is article is an overstatement on the way things turn out...dont take it that seriously!

thanks for reading it anyways. :)

SUNNY said...

Very well written :)
I went the same way..Following all the six steps to the dot..But then..coz of the tears in her eyes..came back to one again.. :)
nd i m happy i did that..

Kedar Shukla said...

Hi Divita,

This is to remind you that you write really well and the blogsphere is missing you!