Preposterous Soliloquies

People think of me to be mad to enjoy some weeks of my year living virtually alone, but i believe it is nice to spend time with yourself where it is you who does the asking and it is you who answers too. and if you aren't one of those ubiquitous self contented yet charlatan souls who nag themselves, "how could you even think of the S word?!" (i mean sex. "how could YOU say it!?!!), you would realise how much can your mind TALK. And on top of that, talk SHIT.
If I am left to myself for one hour, here is how my soliloquy would sound - ugh..why am i writing all this shit anyways...as if they care...and even if they do either they would breathe a sigh of relief that they are not the only socially pervert souls that dare to think of the obvious or they would disown any kind of association with me...they might delete all the previous comments of theirs too...chuck the comments...speaking of the girls here...what are they trying to tell me..."you woman, you should be completely ashamed to not wear the dress as it is supposed to be worn (as if i am wearing my jeans on my head!), what about the dupatta? the 'flab-india' suits... you think you can woo the guys here by showing your bare bosom?! (oops not literally!) And what is with the blue nail color on your feet?! despicable! disgraceful! And don't even dare think we bear anything even close to envy in our pure (read pitiable) souls, for we have learned everything from the old and tested school of thought"...like i am dying to sleep with the guys here....and what's with THEIR look..."lady don't try to flatter us with the 'dilli' look"...whatever that means...ugh embroidery on the jeans....and that too on strategic places...does the embroidery mean "kiss my ass"??..... because i feel like kicking them....not for adorning that ubersexual pink, but for scratching their balls in pubic...look there are somethings that everyone does (ok not scratching their balls. females dont have any....no sorry perhaps...) like picking on their ears and noses, etc but its better to do these things in the confinement of your room with no other human (except for someone who just can't help being around in your desperate moment) around....that reminds me of one line i read in an aeroplane..."toilet at rear"....hahaha....it sure is....and then that threat in my toilet..."dont wet the toilet pan, or else i ll complain to the chief warden"....cheap warden...i have stopped using it altogether....why don't they have toilet papers...where did i read a guy saying "sanitary papers stay in place because of the slimy mucus"...gosh....theres a string of bullock carts on the road...moving on their own slow pace...man i can walk faster than them...does that mean i dont bullshit?...or i bullshit faster than them...how can the guy say fuck and not sex...maybe he is going to grow up to be one of those serial rapists..."do not walk on the grass. think you"....oh they mean thank you .... why does that rhym with kink you...a lot of things sound same...knocking of heavens door...pooping on the kitchen floor....quit playing games with my heart...quit burning candles with my fart....blah....my roommate keeps mommying me...even my mommy did not mommy me that much (not literally!)...."dont take a bath after your meal, you would have problems in digestion"...does she mean my crap wont come??...is my one hour over?????
As much as this intregues me, I am left to myself to wonder and perplex with my soliloquy.

P.S.- did you take that seriously? do i need to assure you its going through your mind as well??